There is nothing wrong with your television set

Tomorrow night at 8 it will be Tonight @ 8, and time for another in the series of monthly (summer and Christmas holidays excepted) webinars from the Radio Society of Great Britain. These presentations on a variety of topics are live-streamed on the Society's YouTube channel and also on a British Amateur Television Club (BATC) channel. They last for around an hour, and at the end, viewers are invited to ask questions online of the presenter(s). The entire televisual extravaganza is moderated by David G7URP. The Society has built up an extensive archive of Tonight @ 8 episodes going back five years, and this can be accessed via YouTube and links on the RSGB website.

Are you OK? I hope you didn't hurt yourself when you fell off your chair. Yes, you read correctly; the Society is down wiv da kids at last! OK, perhaps I'm being a teensy bit unfair to them - though as an auld yin, I won't stop being pissed off at the Subscription fee almost doubling in price in the last couple of years. The RSGB has had an online presence for quite some time, from their website in its various incarnations, to Facebook (hisssss) and X(itter) (booooo!), and a YouTube channel full of recordings of RSGB Convention lectures, training videos, membership information and historical footage. Live public engagement, however, is an altogether different kettle of Fish.

As in every other aspect of life, the pandemic lockdowns closed radio clubs and resulted in rallies, conventions and Field Days being cancelled. Sadly, some clubs and events, and radio amateurs, didn't make it, but out of adversity came a new era of engagement and interaction by any means. Clubs (and individuals) took to video conferencing platforms and social media to conduct meetings, give lectures, pass on their skills, recruit new members or simply to meet, free of the restrictions of terrible band conditions, Planning laws, interference from ignorant neighbours and, of course, social distancing. However, as people began to emerge from that long period of isolation and, if they were still able, return to their normal work and social lives, some of this zeal faded to leave a few snapshots of a short time when radio amateurs again demonstrated that no distance was too large to bridge. Ironically, the pandemic gave the RSGB a much-needed kick up the backside.

As well as Tonight @ 8, which, in spite of appearances to the contrary, is not a spin-off of Most Haunted

the Society now conducts its AGM on YouTube, where you can even combine hobbies.

During the pandemic, many Convention lectures were also live-streamed, but as the event is a source of revenue for the Society, access to live-streaming of that part of the Convention is now available by ticket only (unfortunately from Eventbrite).

Five years on from Bozo's short-sighted and catastrophic "Freedom Day", and from the day a couple of months earlier on which the RSGB decided to boldly go (sic) to seek out new life, new civilisations and split infinitives on teh interwebz, it's now possible and even acceptable to participate in the social side of radio in your pyjamas or in the bath, or, in light of News which has just reached me about TOTA - in advance of tomorrow night's discussion on UKBOTA (UK Bunkers on the Air) - in or even on the toilet. I bet that you thought this was just a wistful reminiscence about the pandemic, didn't you?

Any mail for me while I was gone?

How long has it been? What do you mean, 'Not long enough'? How dare you! It's been five years and two months (minus four days). How time flies when you're doing absolutely nothing. We've had, and this isn't an exhaustive list:

• A global pandemic and a series of lockdowns;
• Britain leaving the EU;
• Three-figure energy bills during the summer;
• Rampant inflation;
• A new Quee...King;
• Three Prime Ministers in as many months, and a revolving door installed in every Royal residence in the land;
• Three scandals a week, every week, on Strictly Come Dancing;
• The cost of a First Class stamp rising to almost TWO QUID!!!;
• Coronation Street on the brink of being cancelled;
• Brendan Rodgers going back to Celtic;
• Musky, dagnabit.

Even Oasis has reformed since I last posted! In other words, a total collapse of society as we know it. Definitely? Maybe?

The only constants in life are Chris Packham shoehorning song titles by indie bands into every episode of Springwatch, and my not having done anything radio-related since you could buy a car and actually drive it in your own home town.

In other News, I sent some envelopes to my QSL Bureau Sub-Manager on Tuesday.

'But I'm not guilty', said K. 'There's been a mistake...'

Please refer to the set text.

Hi. Remember me? I'm GM0JHE. I'm from the Internet. I once occupied a lovely little spot on Twitter; comfy chair, great view, all the Custard Creams one could eat, that sort of thing. I had over 350 followers. I wasn't prolific (when was I ever?), but I was funny, and unlike radio, people could, and did, communicate with me.

One day, in the midst of a global pandemic, I logged on to my account only to discover that I'd been suspended. No, not from the ceiling, or from a tall crane, but from Twitter. 'Why?', I hear you ask. How the flying Duck should I know? I hadn't broken a single Twitter Rule, or any of their Terms & Conditions, yet seven and a quarter years of history - moans about trains, sausage rolls, computer-generated CW and band conditions, and my bad jokes - were flushed down the toilet at the stroke of a pen. If only it were that simple. This is where every angsty, psuedo-intellectual teenager's favourite Bohemian (from Bohemia, not a flowery-shirted, beardy weirdo) novelist comes into it. I'm the social media equivalent of Josef K.

Twitter was founded by Jack Dorsey, an über-rich, hairy, Irish-American software geek who dropped out of university before graduating. In other words, he's a rebel, and he'll never, ever be any good. He's a busy man. He has a lot of money that needs counting, so he's left the day-to-day ticking-over of his dysfunctional behemoth in the hands of underlings or, to be more accurate, a sentient, psychotic, sociopathic fascist of an Intel Pentium II-based PC running Windows 95. This soulless chunk of metal possesses zero social skills and zero sense of humour, and hates sunlight and people. IT carries out the culling of accounts, not Janice in Cubicle 27 or Jorge on the 3rd Floor. There's no tech support and no plinky-plonky on-hold music. There isn't even an e-mail address. There's just a yawning chasm into which your Support Requests fall. And fall. And fall:

'My account has been suspended'. Silence.
'Why was my account suspended?' Silence.
'Here's a my CV, two References, my shoe size and photo of me from the 1980s to prove that I'm a real person'. Silence.
'I'll just set up another account, shall I?' 'We cannot currently register that e-mail address'. Oh, a response! #facepalm

I guess you won't be seeing me on Twitter any time soon, if ever.

It's not real radio

I'm not known for being down wiv da kids - I was old even when I was young - so you can imagine the reaction of the world of Amateur Radio when I 'went digital'. I've had to imagine the reaction, so you can, too. It's a lonely life being a 'Ham' with low power and a crap antenna. No one comes back to your CQ calls, and no one hears you when you go back to their CQ calls. You're reduced to shouting 'FIVE NINE ONE FOUR, FIVE NINE ONE FOUR' (other Zones are available) at people in tents. After thirty years (well, twenty-nine and a bit) of hearteache (and heartburn) it was time for a change, a drastic change.

Remember my last blog post? You should. It was only ten weeks ago. Well, I asked (myself) a number of questions. Guess what? I got some answers.

1. D-STAR: Why does no one use it? Why can I only receive it in one corner of my living room (lounge, for you posh gits)? Why does it sound like Jacques Cousteau?

It appears that a couple of people use it. I heard a Dutch station only last night. The answer to the second and third questions is that I am listening on a handheld with a rubber duck antenna, and the repeater is in Airdrie and I am not.

2. DMR: Why do even fewer people use it than use D-STAR? Why does it sound like Jacques Cousteau saying 'Second Class Return to Nottingham, please'?

It transpires that I was wrong on both counts. Hundreds of people use it, but they're all in Edinburgh, Falkirk, Fife and Dundee, apart from the guy in Arizona and a Japanese station. I nearly choked on my cereal when I heard him. This begs the questions 'Why does no one in the West of Scotland use DMR?', 'Don't tell me I'm hearing the Edinburgh repeater?',  'Why can I only hear this repeater when I sit the DMR handheld on the window ledge on the other side of the wall from where the D-STAR handheld is sitting?' and 'Is it any wonder I've got a sore head?'

Incidentally, Jacques Cousteau is not on DMR, but Max Headroom is. When the signal's good, the audio is very good...

A word of warning: the Retevis RT82 is heap of junk. Nice idea (even if there are no 2m DMR repeaters in Scotland at the moment), but it is as deaf as a post.

3. Fusion/C4FM: Why do the people who used to use it not use it anymore? Where have all the repeaters gone? What really happens when you hold the DX button?

People do use it (check out CQ-UK). I tried listening to a local repeater (via a Reflector, using a SharkRF OpenSpot) and was spotted lurking. I've been in hiding ever since (not really). I'm still not sure what happens when you hold the DX button.

All of these VHF/UHF digital modes/protocols have a steep learning curve. I'm still stuck at the bottom.

4. What the hell is FT8, and why should I care? Why can't I decode it or JT65 or WSPR or the rest of them?

Dealing with the second point first, it helps to select Upper Sideband for the Data mode on your transceiver. Trust me.

FT8 is one of those weak signal digital modes invented by the Nobel Prize-winning Astrophysicist Prof. Joe Taylor K1JT (he's the T in FT8. I think the F is called Frank). I've not tried the other modes, mainly because I'm hooked (not really) on FT8. I'm not suffering from Emperor's New Clothes Syndrome. It's just an easy mode. The software,WSJT-X, does everything for you, other than hold the mouse over the station you want to call and press the button for you. That will probably be in the next mode! I've made about 40 contacts (well, my computer has) in the last two months, which is more than I make in an average year, shouting at contest stations aside. I still have the same problems getting folk to come back to me, barely getting beyond Western Europe, and the bands being dead a lot of the time, but I'm having fun, and that's a rare thing for this station.

5. What is the point of APRS? Why do folk display the little car when they're at home?

I have no idea, and I no longer care.

6. Why can't I remember the password for this blog?

I'm pleased to say that I am still logged in, so no stress this time round.

All this excitement is getting too much for me. I even used logging software during the recent CQWW SSB and CW contests and submitted my logs. What a pity I hardly worked anything!

I long for the good old days of ragchewing on 2m, or having a couple of CW contacts on 20m before breakfast. I miss the excitement of being a shortwave listener hearing rare DX for the first time and never realising that I was in for an eternity of disappointment. Those days are gone. I won't live to see the peak of the next solar cycle. There won't be a peak, apparently. I'm old, you see. Too old for these digital shenanigans. I had my first ever 80m QSO from my home QTH during the CQWW CW contest. That's read radio.

Swordfish

A few weeks ago, my loyal reader asked why I hadn't blogged for a while. I can only apologise for my tardiness, but I had some important business to attend to. That, and the fact that I had nothing to report. However, things have changed. I have had a revelation: life is full of little mysteries. They are, as follows:

1. D-STAR: Why does no one use it? Why can I only receive it in one corner of my living room (lounge, for you posh gits)? Why does it sound like Jacques Cousteau?
2. DMR: Why do even fewer people use it than use D-STAR? Why does it sound like Jacques Cousteau saying 'Second Class Return to Nottingham, please'?
3. Fusion/C4FM: Why do the people who used to use it not use it anymore? Where have all the repeaters gone? What really happens when you hold the DX button?
4. What the hell is FT8, and why should I care? Why can't I decode it or JT65 or WSPR or the rest of them?
5. What is the point of APRS? Why do folk display the little car when they're at home?
6. Why can't I remember the password for this blog?

Is this frequency in use?

Apparently not.

This pathetic excuse for a blog about pathetic excuses for not going on the radio, full of pathetic excuses for not blogging about not going on the radio, is 9 years old. This is how it all began and, pretty much, how it has continued:

http://gm0jhe.blogspot.co.uk/2007_04_01_archive.html

How serendipi...serendipe...what a coincidence! No, I didn't read it first, and then come up with the title of this post. Who could have foreseen just how unproductive I would be in those 9 years? Me, for a start. They were no more successful than the 9 years that preceded them, or the 9 years that preceded those 9 years. You get my point, dear reader.

Two days ago, I celebrated the 28th anniversary of the first entry in the logbook of GM0JHE, not by having a wee drink, though I should have done so, but by doing some things of an Amateur Radio nature. I shall reveal all spill the beans later on but, for now, here's an illustrated whistle-stop tour of the last two and a quarter years.

Right. Where was I? Ah, the RSGB Centenary Convention, Part Deux. Well, it's a bit late now to start going on about it, but the intended post was going to feature a photo of a defaced Technical Dinner menu, but I can't find it right now. Will this do?

The highlight of the evening was a talk by the legendary Rev. George Dobbs G3RJV:

To cut a long story (very) short, every man should have a shed.

I presume he meant 'man' as in 'humanity'.

The next day, scores of bleary-eyed delegates wandered in and out of talks about aerials, DXpeditions, Amateurs in the armed forces, and so on, and all too soon, the weekend was over. It is always thus.

Next up, 2014, and it began with a trip to the seaside, where there was little to see, bar this giant key:

I may have bought a book, or two, but my memory of the entire weekend is somewhat hazy, and not due to the demon drink.

My next trip to a Rally was a vast improvement, in all respects: First Class train travel, taxis here and there, and back home before midnight with a bag of goodies, including one of these beauties, just in case I ever need to perfom a surgical procedure!

The weather is a lot more hospitable than in Blackpool, so you can even go outside (I may regret saying that).

I got a little ATU, a PSU, a couple of books and a Czech morse key. I enjoyed the day out, but considering the cost of the trip, and the fact that I didn't arrive at the venue until nearly 1pm, it was a bit much for two and a half hours. Well, you only live once. Nice clock.

A word of warning for those who, like me, have never attended the National Hamfest. Take a car, especially on the Friday. Otherwise, you will struggle to get a taxi, because most of them are engaged in taking kids home from school due to the abysmal bus service in Newark-on-Trent. Speaking of serendipity

According to my logbook, I worked a total of 11 stations in 2014, all in the CQWW SSB Contest. I have my reasons.

I started 2015 by doing something positive, and joined AMSAT-UK. Joined. That is all.

What better way to kick off Spring 2015 than a trip to the seaside:

I can pick them! This was before they gave storms a name, and I can think of a few for this one, none of them polite. What a relief, then, to get inside this place.

You see folk all the time coming out of Rally venues with mobile whips, colinears, beams, vintage receivers, sections of masts, and so on. I bet they thought twice about it that day. The streets were deserted. When I emerged a few hours later to take the tram back to my car, the storm had abated, which was just as well, as I was a few hundred (British) pounds lighter. Inspired by a flurry of Packet (?) activity I had heard on 2m before I left the B&B, I parted with a stupid sum of money for one of these:

Why? No, really. Why? Your guess is as good as mine. Anything else I may have acquired paled into insignificance beside this white elephant.

At the beginning of June, I drove over to Livingston, for the so-called Central Scotland Mini Ham Radio Convention. 7 tables, 4 of them empty, do not a Convention make. I shall not be returning. I'll need to pay my CSFMG membership by other means.

Later that month, a courier turned up at the door with one of these:

This the extremely plasticky Wouxun KG-UV6DL 2m/4m handheld. Believe it or not, I did hear someone on 4m shortly after I bough this but, at the time of writing, I've never heard anyone else, either in Glasgow, or in Wales or the Midlands. During that same week, finally, I had the bright idea to take the aforementioned Kenwood contraption out of its box and attach it to a spare computer I had lying around. I downloaded UI-View 32, and set about trying to work out how to configure the software, and how to operate the radio on APRS and Packet. It was clear I that I was suffering from some form of intellectual deficit, so I switched it off and watched the telly.

I took my FT-60, UV-5R, KG-UV6DL and FT-817 away on holiday to Wales in July, but in my hurry to leave, I forgot to take any aerials with me. Just as well, as my car never moved an inch the whole time I was there. Don't ask me to organise any portable expeditions.

To atone for this shameful neglect, I bought myself one of these:

It only came out of the box this weekend.

I've nearly finished, honest.

Taking my own advice, I drove to the 2015 National Hamfest. This was a recipe for disaster: long journey, and even longer when combined with a trip to the West Midlands in the same weekend; crap B&B; a town where the buses seem to finish about half past 5; the temptation to go to the Rally on both days; and the temptation to buy something bigger than I could fit in a rucksack! I bought a Callbook, so I could get one of those RSGB document cases. I bought another couple of books, a mobile mount, sundry hardware, and another rig:

I did a lot of wandering around outside in the glorious Autumn sunshine, while I dithered about buying the 450D.

I presume his owner has a licence (for him).

I wonder if this will tune up on Top Band.
 

I didn't buy one of these, but maybe Bonnie Tyler would?
 

Time for a last look round, and a decision on the FT-450D.

Perhaps I had heatstroke? Actually, I had a migraine, but I won't blame it on that. I bought it for a purpose, even if it stayed in its box for 6 months. Stay tuned. Ahem.

My last foray into Amateur Radio for 2015 was in the CQWW SSB Contest at the end of October, where I made 50 contacts. That's quite good, considering.  

I started 2016 by neglecting to pay my AMSAT-UK subscription. This was remedied earlier this month after I had been sent a final demand, so to speak. When you get to my age, you forget things!

March is almost over, and the clocks have gone forward into Spring, or what passes for it in Glasgow. It's not the end of the story, though. I had another go at the TM-D710GE, and I'm still none the wiser. What is this about?

A week later, a courier appeared with one of these:

Yes, this is why I bought the FT-450D, a cheaper radio that I won't be too upset about destroying by connecting something like this to it. I've still got a bit of setting up to do, but I managed to decode some RTTY on 17m. Heaven knows what some of the new sounds are in the Data portion of the HF bands, but that's what it's all about, experimentation.

I struggled to fill an entire page of my logbook during the CQWW WPX contest. I only made 23 contacts in the whole 48 47 hours. The other two were made using CW on 17m, using the FT-450D for the first time. Also for the first time, I tried my paddle. I sank without trace. Practice makes perfect? Less blogging and more practice? Who knows?

Old habits die hard

Since my last update, I have done nothing radio-related. It’s not for the want of trying. I had hoped that I could work someone in the ARRL 10m contest during the weekend of the 15/16 December. Ten was open, but signals were too weak for me even to begin to believe that any good would come of it. I also had a listen round the bands during the CQWW CW contest, but came to the conclusion that it had become an event for computers, and for superman and other such freaks of nature or fiction. If I wanted to cheat, I could, but it’s not my style. It’s time that a wpm limit was enforced on this and other contests. It’s just my opinion. The Internet is all about opinions; and cats, obviously.

I plucked the FT-60E from the shelf just before I started to type this, and before the battery went flat, there was the usual display of poor operating and general idiocy on the local repeater. I don’t wish to sound like some old duffer from the Home Counties with a handlebar moustache and a regimental tie, but the free Licence has only succeeded in encouraging more and more of the lower orders on to the bands, and no one, from their tutors to the authorities, appears to be capable of arresting the decline, no pun intended.

I have tried to fix the problems with some of the earlier blogs, and I hope I've been successful. I've still to do Part 2 of the RSGB convention. Give me time. What do you mean two and a half months is long enough?