'But I'm not guilty', said K. 'There's been a mistake...'

Please refer to the set text.

Hi. Remember me? I'm GM0JHE. I'm from the Internet. I once occupied a lovely little spot on Twitter; comfy chair, great view, all the Custard Creams one could eat, that sort of thing. I had over 350 followers. I wasn't prolific (when was I ever?), but I was funny, and unlike radio, people could, and did, communicate with me.

One day, in the midst of a global pandemic, I logged on to my account only to discover that I'd been suspended. No, not from the ceiling, or from a tall crane, but from Twitter. 'Why?', I hear you ask. How the flying Duck should I know? I hadn't broken a single Twitter Rule, or any of their Terms & Conditions, yet seven and a quarter years of history - moans about trains, sausage rolls, computer-generated CW and band conditions, and my bad jokes - were flushed down the toilet at the stroke of a pen. If only it were that simple. This is where every angsty, psuedo-intellectual teenager's favourite Bohemian (from Bohemia, not a flowery-shirted, beardy weirdo) novelist comes into it. I'm the social media equivalent of Josef K.

Twitter was founded by Jack Dorsey, an über-rich, hairy, Irish-American software geek who dropped out of university before graduating. In other words, he's a rebel, and he'll never, ever be any good. He's a busy man. He has a lot of money that needs counting, so he's left the day-to-day ticking-over of his dysfunctional behemoth in the hands of underlings or, to be more accurate, a sentient, psychotic, sociopathic fascist of an Intel Pentium II-based PC running Windows 95. This soulless chunk of metal possesses zero social skills and zero sense of humour, and hates sunlight and people. IT carries out the culling of accounts, not Janice in Cubicle 27 or Jorge on the 3rd Floor. There's no tech support and no plinky-plonky on-hold music. There isn't even an e-mail address. There's just a yawning chasm into which your Support Requests fall. And fall. And fall:

'My account has been suspended'. Silence.
'Why was my account suspended?' Silence.
'Here's a my CV, two References, my shoe size and photo of me from the 1980s to prove that I'm a real person'. Silence.
'I'll just set up another account, shall I?' 'We cannot currently register that e-mail address'. Oh, a response! #facepalm

I guess you won't be seeing me on Twitter any time soon, if ever.

It's not real radio

I'm not known for being down wiv da kids - I was old even when I was young - so you can imagine the reaction of the world of Amateur Radio when I 'went digital'. I've had to imagine the reaction, so you can, too. It's a lonely life being a 'Ham' with low power and a crap antenna. No one comes back to your CQ calls, and no one hears you when you go back to their CQ calls. You're reduced to shouting 'FIVE NINE ONE FOUR, FIVE NINE ONE FOUR' (other Zones are available) at people in tents. After thirty years (well, twenty-nine and a bit) of hearteache (and heartburn) it was time for a change, a drastic change.

Remember my last blog post? You should. It was only ten weeks ago. Well, I asked (myself) a number of questions. Guess what? I got some answers.

1. D-STAR: Why does no one use it? Why can I only receive it in one corner of my living room (lounge, for you posh gits)? Why does it sound like Jacques Cousteau?

It appears that a couple of people use it. I heard a Dutch station only last night. The answer to the second and third questions is that I am listening on a handheld with a rubber duck antenna, and the repeater is in Airdrie and I am not.

2. DMR: Why do even fewer people use it than use D-STAR? Why does it sound like Jacques Cousteau saying 'Second Class Return to Nottingham, please'?

It transpires that I was wrong on both counts. Hundreds of people use it, but they're all in Edinburgh, Falkirk, Fife and Dundee, apart from the guy in Arizona and a Japanese station. I nearly choked on my cereal when I heard him. This begs the questions 'Why does no one in the West of Scotland use DMR?', 'Don't tell me I'm hearing the Edinburgh repeater?',  'Why can I only hear this repeater when I sit the DMR handheld on the window ledge on the other side of the wall from where the D-STAR handheld is sitting?' and 'Is it any wonder I've got a sore head?'

Incidentally, Jacques Cousteau is not on DMR, but Max Headroom is. When the signal's good, the audio is very good...

A word of warning: the Retevis RT82 is heap of junk. Nice idea (even if there are no 2m DMR repeaters in Scotland at the moment), but it is as deaf as a post.

3. Fusion/C4FM: Why do the people who used to use it not use it anymore? Where have all the repeaters gone? What really happens when you hold the DX button?

People do use it (check out CQ-UK). I tried listening to a local repeater (via a Reflector, using a SharkRF OpenSpot) and was spotted lurking. I've been in hiding ever since (not really). I'm still not sure what happens when you hold the DX button.

All of these VHF/UHF digital modes/protocols have a steep learning curve. I'm still stuck at the bottom.

4. What the hell is FT8, and why should I care? Why can't I decode it or JT65 or WSPR or the rest of them?

Dealing with the second point first, it helps to select Upper Sideband for the Data mode on your transceiver. Trust me.

FT8 is one of those weak signal digital modes invented by the Nobel Prize-winning Astrophysicist Prof. Joe Taylor K1JT (he's the T in FT8. I think the F is called Frank). I've not tried the other modes, mainly because I'm hooked (not really) on FT8. I'm not suffering from Emperor's New Clothes Syndrome. It's just an easy mode. The software,WSJT-X, does everything for you, other than hold the mouse over the station you want to call and press the button for you. That will probably be in the next mode! I've made about 40 contacts (well, my computer has) in the last two months, which is more than I make in an average year, shouting at contest stations aside. I still have the same problems getting folk to come back to me, barely getting beyond Western Europe, and the bands being dead a lot of the time, but I'm having fun, and that's a rare thing for this station.

5. What is the point of APRS? Why do folk display the little car when they're at home?

I have no idea, and I no longer care.

6. Why can't I remember the password for this blog?

I'm pleased to say that I am still logged in, so no stress this time round.

All this excitement is getting too much for me. I even used logging software during the recent CQWW SSB and CW contests and submitted my logs. What a pity I hardly worked anything!

I long for the good old days of ragchewing on 2m, or having a couple of CW contacts on 20m before breakfast. I miss the excitement of being a shortwave listener hearing rare DX for the first time and never realising that I was in for an eternity of disappointment. Those days are gone. I won't live to see the peak of the next solar cycle. There won't be a peak, apparently. I'm old, you see. Too old for these digital shenanigans. I had my first ever 80m QSO from my home QTH during the CQWW CW contest. That's read radio.

Swordfish

A few weeks ago, my loyal reader asked why I hadn't blogged for a while. I can only apologise for my tardiness, but I had some important business to attend to. That, and the fact that I had nothing to report. However, things have changed. I have had a revelation: life is full of little mysteries. They are, as follows:

1. D-STAR: Why does no one use it? Why can I only receive it in one corner of my living room (lounge, for you posh gits)? Why does it sound like Jacques Cousteau?
2. DMR: Why do even fewer people use it than use D-STAR? Why does it sound like Jacques Cousteau saying 'Second Class Return to Nottingham, please'?
3. Fusion/C4FM: Why do the people who used to use it not use it anymore? Where have all the repeaters gone? What really happens when you hold the DX button?
4. What the hell is FT8, and why should I care? Why can't I decode it or JT65 or WSPR or the rest of them?
5. What is the point of APRS? Why do folk display the little car when they're at home?
6. Why can't I remember the password for this blog?

Is this frequency in use?

Apparently not.

This pathetic excuse for a blog about pathetic excuses for not going on the radio, full of pathetic excuses for not blogging about not going on the radio, is 9 years old. This is how it all began and, pretty much, how it has continued:

http://gm0jhe.blogspot.co.uk/2007_04_01_archive.html

How serendipi...serendipe...what a coincidence! No, I didn't read it first, and then come up with the title of this post. Who could have foreseen just how unproductive I would be in those 9 years? Me, for a start. They were no more successful than the 9 years that preceded them, or the 9 years that preceded those 9 years. You get my point, dear reader.

Two days ago, I celebrated the 28th anniversary of the first entry in the logbook of GM0JHE, not by having a wee drink, though I should have done so, but by doing some things of an Amateur Radio nature. I shall reveal all spill the beans later on but, for now, here's an illustrated whistle-stop tour of the last two and a quarter years.

Right. Where was I? Ah, the RSGB Centenary Convention, Part Deux. Well, it's a bit late now to start going on about it, but the intended post was going to feature a photo of a defaced Technical Dinner menu, but I can't find it right now. Will this do?

The highlight of the evening was a talk by the legendary Rev. George Dobbs G3RJV:

To cut a long story (very) short, every man should have a shed.

I presume he meant 'man' as in 'humanity'.

The next day, scores of bleary-eyed delegates wandered in and out of talks about aerials, DXpeditions, Amateurs in the armed forces, and so on, and all too soon, the weekend was over. It is always thus.

Next up, 2014, and it began with a trip to the seaside, where there was little to see, bar this giant key:

I may have bought a book, or two, but my memory of the entire weekend is somewhat hazy, and not due to the demon drink.

My next trip to a Rally was a vast improvement, in all respects: First Class train travel, taxis here and there, and back home before midnight with a bag of goodies, including one of these beauties, just in case I ever need to perfom a surgical procedure!

The weather is a lot more hospitable than in Blackpool, so you can even go outside (I may regret saying that).

I got a little ATU, a PSU, a couple of books and a Czech morse key. I enjoyed the day out, but considering the cost of the trip, and the fact that I didn't arrive at the venue until nearly 1pm, it was a bit much for two and a half hours. Well, you only live once. Nice clock.

A word of warning for those who, like me, have never attended the National Hamfest. Take a car, especially on the Friday. Otherwise, you will struggle to get a taxi, because most of them are engaged in taking kids home from school due to the abysmal bus service in Newark-on-Trent. Speaking of serendipity

According to my logbook, I worked a total of 11 stations in 2014, all in the CQWW SSB Contest. I have my reasons.

I started 2015 by doing something positive, and joined AMSAT-UK. Joined. That is all.

What better way to kick off Spring 2015 than a trip to the seaside:

I can pick them! This was before they gave storms a name, and I can think of a few for this one, none of them polite. What a relief, then, to get inside this place.

You see folk all the time coming out of Rally venues with mobile whips, colinears, beams, vintage receivers, sections of masts, and so on. I bet they thought twice about it that day. The streets were deserted. When I emerged a few hours later to take the tram back to my car, the storm had abated, which was just as well, as I was a few hundred (British) pounds lighter. Inspired by a flurry of Packet (?) activity I had heard on 2m before I left the B&B, I parted with a stupid sum of money for one of these:

Why? No, really. Why? Your guess is as good as mine. Anything else I may have acquired paled into insignificance beside this white elephant.

At the beginning of June, I drove over to Livingston, for the so-called Central Scotland Mini Ham Radio Convention. 7 tables, 4 of them empty, do not a Convention make. I shall not be returning. I'll need to pay my CSFMG membership by other means.

Later that month, a courier turned up at the door with one of these:

This the extremely plasticky Wouxun KG-UV6DL 2m/4m handheld. Believe it or not, I did hear someone on 4m shortly after I bough this but, at the time of writing, I've never heard anyone else, either in Glasgow, or in Wales or the Midlands. During that same week, finally, I had the bright idea to take the aforementioned Kenwood contraption out of its box and attach it to a spare computer I had lying around. I downloaded UI-View 32, and set about trying to work out how to configure the software, and how to operate the radio on APRS and Packet. It was clear I that I was suffering from some form of intellectual deficit, so I switched it off and watched the telly.

I took my FT-60, UV-5R, KG-UV6DL and FT-817 away on holiday to Wales in July, but in my hurry to leave, I forgot to take any aerials with me. Just as well, as my car never moved an inch the whole time I was there. Don't ask me to organise any portable expeditions.

To atone for this shameful neglect, I bought myself one of these:

It only came out of the box this weekend.

I've nearly finished, honest.

Taking my own advice, I drove to the 2015 National Hamfest. This was a recipe for disaster: long journey, and even longer when combined with a trip to the West Midlands in the same weekend; crap B&B; a town where the buses seem to finish about half past 5; the temptation to go to the Rally on both days; and the temptation to buy something bigger than I could fit in a rucksack! I bought a Callbook, so I could get one of those RSGB document cases. I bought another couple of books, a mobile mount, sundry hardware, and another rig:

I did a lot of wandering around outside in the glorious Autumn sunshine, while I dithered about buying the 450D.

I presume his owner has a licence (for him).

I wonder if this will tune up on Top Band.
 

I didn't buy one of these, but maybe Bonnie Tyler would?
 

Time for a last look round, and a decision on the FT-450D.

Perhaps I had heatstroke? Actually, I had a migraine, but I won't blame it on that. I bought it for a purpose, even if it stayed in its box for 6 months. Stay tuned. Ahem.

My last foray into Amateur Radio for 2015 was in the CQWW SSB Contest at the end of October, where I made 50 contacts. That's quite good, considering.  

I started 2016 by neglecting to pay my AMSAT-UK subscription. This was remedied earlier this month after I had been sent a final demand, so to speak. When you get to my age, you forget things!

March is almost over, and the clocks have gone forward into Spring, or what passes for it in Glasgow. It's not the end of the story, though. I had another go at the TM-D710GE, and I'm still none the wiser. What is this about?

A week later, a courier appeared with one of these:

Yes, this is why I bought the FT-450D, a cheaper radio that I won't be too upset about destroying by connecting something like this to it. I've still got a bit of setting up to do, but I managed to decode some RTTY on 17m. Heaven knows what some of the new sounds are in the Data portion of the HF bands, but that's what it's all about, experimentation.

I struggled to fill an entire page of my logbook during the CQWW WPX contest. I only made 23 contacts in the whole 48 47 hours. The other two were made using CW on 17m, using the FT-450D for the first time. Also for the first time, I tried my paddle. I sank without trace. Practice makes perfect? Less blogging and more practice? Who knows?

Old habits die hard

Since my last update, I have done nothing radio-related. It’s not for the want of trying. I hoped I could work someone during the ARRL 10m contest during the weekend of the 15/16 December. Ten was open, but signals were too weak for me to even begin to believe that any good would come of it. I also had a listen round the bands during the CQWW CW contest, but came to the conclusion that it had become an event for computers, and for superman and other such freaks of nature or fiction. If I wanted to cheat, I could, but I it’s not my style. It’s time that either a wpm limit was enforced on this and other contests. It’s my opinion. The Internet is all about opinions, and cats, obviously.

I plucked the FT-60E from the shelf just before I started to type this, and before the battery went flat, there was the usual display of poor operating and general idiocy on the local repeater. I don’t wish to sound like some old duffer from the Home Counties with handlebar moustache and regimental tie, but the free licence has only succeeded in encouraging more and more of the lower orders on to the bands, and no one, from their tutors to the authorities, appears to be capable of arresting the decline, no pun intended.

I have tried to fix the problems with some of the earlier blogs, and I hope I've been successful. I've still to do Part 2 of the RSGB convention. Give me time. What do you mean two and a half months is long enough?

Time Out

I'm sure most Radio Amateurs have had, at sometime in their radio lives, periods of, shall we say, inactivity. I mentioned it recently, back in July. What July has in common with October for me is contests; the IARU in July and the CQWW SSB in October.

This is October, and the CQWW (SSB goes without saying, as I barely touch the key) has been taking place over this weekend. My last foray into that contest appears to have been in 2007, and my best DX was Senegal. This year, with all the QRM you get when conditions are good, it's a miracle I got farther than Shettleston. I heard China on 10m, Qatar on a couple of bands, Cape Verde on 20m, a number of weak Japanese stations on 10 and 15 and a couple of stations in the Caribbean. Did I work any of them? No.

I ran the IC-707 on 20 and 40m (where I only worked 2 GMs, 2 Gs and a GW) with 30W, and the TS-590S on 15m, mostly with 30W, and 50W on Saturday morning. I started off with the FT-817 on 10m, but 5W wasn't enough to get through to anyone, it seemed, so I hooked the aerial up to the FT-857D and turned it up to a whopping 25W. What did that lot get me?

I started at 05:45GMT on Saturday morning, but didn't work anything for nearly half an hour. An hour later, and I'd barely got into double figures. It was a struggle throughout the entire weekend to make oneself heard by any station above the splatter, and there was plenty of QSB to deal with, too. Just under 4 hours later, I made a contact outside of Europe for the first time, and it turned out to be UP2L in Kazakhstan on 10m. I followed this by IG9Y, which is the Pelagic Islands, apprently (Lambedusa, etc). I only made another three contacts in the next hour, before I exchanged reports with TF3CW. It's been a long time since I've worked Iceland, so this was my favourite contact from Saturday. After this, it was Europe, North Africa and North America all the way.

Sunday wasn't much different, except that the bands appeared to be a bit more unstable than the day before. It took me most of the day to work not much more than 30 stations. The best was VY2TT on Prince Edward Island. I couldn't struggle on anymore, as most stations I tried to work started off around 59 but faded to almost unreadable. I doubt I was making an impression on their S-meters.

Anyway, I finished with 107 contacts and 39 DXCC Entities (countries). This is the most contacts I have made during a contest for around 25 years, but it doesn't beat that record of 139 QSOs. I didn't actually enter the contest. I'd be too embarrassed.

No, I haven't forgotten about Part 2 of the RSGB Convention blog. I promise I'll do it later in the week (and correct the mistakes in Part 1).

100 Not Out

Most of the posts in this excuse for a blog have as their theme a visit to an Amateur Radio Rally of some description, from the now defunct Magnum Rally in Irvine, Ayrshire, to the NARSA rally in Blackpool, Lancashire. If you want to see something, buy something or meet fellow Amateurs, a Rally is the place to go. It's been a long time since any radio-related event of note has taken place in Glasgow, so you have to go a long way from home. It's got to be worth it, got to be more than a travelling shop. The subtle difference between a Rally and a Convention is that, if you're lucky, you will get to hear a variety of top-class speakers present on a variety of topics, such is the wide range of interests within the hobby.

I had not attended an 'RSGB Convention' for over twenty years. Around the late 80s/early 90s, the Society held its annual Convention at the NEC in Birmingham, but eventually they stopped; partly for financial reasons, partly for reasons unknown. The RSGB is often portrayed as a London- or South East of England-centric body, so dispensing with its annual bash  was looked upon by some (in the provinces) as further evidence of this. It didn't matter to me, as I had, at varying times, no transport, no time, no money or a combination of two or more of those things. My last long-distance trip was when I went to Leicester (Donnington, actually) in 2003, and that event is also no longer on the calendar. By the look of it, the National Hamfest, which takes place in Newark, is the biggest Rally in the UK, and one of the few left.

I have been a member of the RSGB for twenty-eight years, joining after the Scottish Convention in Dundee in September of 1985. I attended the Society's 75th Anniversary Convention at the NEC in 1988, so it was only fitting that I put in an appearance for the Centenary, especially considering that the Convention proper, with lectures, had been reinstated some years ago. This followed the amalgamation of various other events, such as the HF Convention, which I had attended in 1986, the VHF Convention, and so on. I think that's correct. 

The Convention has been held for the last few years in a hotel situated eleven miles from Milton Keynes. I presume this is designed to keep everyone a safe distance from the riff-raff. In that respect, it appears to succeed, but it's a challenge for those not travelling by car, wherever they are based. I went from Glasgow to London by train, then took another train to Milton Keynes, from where I took a taxi to the hotel at a cost of around £20, and did the same in reverse to go home. Being me, I couldn't resist turning it into a trip to London, so the whole weekend cost me a pretty penny. I would prefer to travel by car, in future, as the flexibility afforded by not having to adhere to someone else's timetable and route means that I will be able to visit not only the village of Little Horwood, which is not really adjacent to the hotel, and, of course, Bletchley Park.

Back in the day, film and developing cost money, so a lot of thought went into the subject, composition and amount of photographs one would take. This means that there are no photos from RSGB Conventions past. With the advent of digital cameras, the sky's the limit, so here's a quick run-though of a very enjoyable weekend.

Before I went to Buckinghamshire, I popped into the Science Museum.   

They have a copy of the February 1929 edition of the T&R Bulletin, the forerunner of RadCom. A closer look reveals some famous names on the Council like Clarricoats, Ostermyer and Alford.

They have a Yaesu FT-101ZD, a valve transceiver from around 1980. The Greenock and District Amateur Radio Club had one of these, and I got to use it a couple of times.

Finally, the President of the RSGB at the time this T & R Bulletin was published was Gerald Marcuse, G2NM, and the Science Museum has this famous photograph on display.

Enough of that, let's get to the Convention.

I arrived at the hotel around 4:30 on the Friday. The sponsors, Martin Lynch and Sons, provided a buffet to welcome delegates who were staying on the Friday night. I had some soup and a couple of rolls then went back to my room to watch the England v Poland game on the ancient CRT telly, which lacked BBC4. This was the only real complaint I had about the hotel itself. Well, that and the inability to find my way round.

It's 9am on Saturday. Some people are still having their breakfast, and some people are still arriving on site as Bob Whelan, G3PJT, welcomes a bleary-eyed bunch to the Centenary Convention. 

The keynote speaker was, as the slide shows, Joe Taylor, K1JT, the creator of a number of digital modes such as WSPR, WSJT and so on (no, I have no idea), who gave a very interesting and highly technical talk on many of these modes. He's also a former winner of the Nobel Prize for Physics!

Next up for me, a potentially depressing talk about Solar Cycle 24 and predictions for 25. However, it was all very light hearted, not least because no one has a clue.

First up, though, Carl gave a display of QSL cards from deleted or rare DXCC entities...

... then it was back to the bad news, or was it? Some data suggests that Cycle 24 could be headed for a second peak. Some data also suggests that sunspots will vanish. Oh NO!!!!!!

The rain stopped long enough around lunchtime for a quick photo of the outside of the hotel.

Just time for one more talk before lunch, and this was one of the most interesting topics of the weekend, presented by Liz Bruton of the University of Leeds.

I had originally been down for the Gala Dinner, and was on the laminated seating plan, but I managed to duck out and get the last ticket for the Technical Dinner. More later.

I got distracted by a documentary about Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers on the telly, then I got lost in the rabbit warren of a hotel, so I arrived late for the first talk after lunch. Elaine Richards, G4LFM, gave one of the most amusing presentations of the weekend. Many of the pictures used during this talk illustrated not only the vastness of some Amateurs' gardens at this time and also the total disregard for Health and Safety! The story of Bill Corsham, 2UV, drew chuckles from the audience when it was revealed that one singer who had gone to his house to be broadcast (its seems anything was allowed) had been dressed in a rather substantial outfit, unaware of the dimensions of an Amateur's shack. She had to remove some of her clothing to fit into the room, and Bill was worried that his mother would find the young lady in a state of undress and come to the wrong conclusion! Apart from this, Bill Corsham was the first known UK Amateur to use a QSL card.

One of the most, if not THE most popular presentations of the weekend was 'Another slice of Pi' by Peter Goodhall, 2E0SQL. This was a follow-up to last year's introduction to the Raspberry Pi computer.

The timings were a bit askew, and there was a particular talk I wanted to see at the end of the Saturday session, so I took a wander round the Exhibition.

I think this is a representative of a company building something to sell.

I didn't ask, so I don't know what was going on.

Not surprisingly, I was too scared to have a go. I wasn't so timid in 1988. Shameful.

The ubiquitous RSGB bookstall. Yes, I did buy some books. 

I didn't eat a sweetie, though.

Contrary to appearances, this isn't a member of the Martin Lynch and Sons team begging someone to buy something from their stand.

To kill some time, I went to a talk by Mike Gloisten, GM0HCQ, which was imaginatively entitled 'From Morse Code to the World Wide Web'. You'd never know it was about the changes in communications equipment on the British Antarctic Survey ships and on the onshore bases!

Last lecture of the day, and a very interesting presentation on Voluntary Intercepters, and how a great many of them were Radio Amateurs. Needless to say, I can't talk about it.

What happened next? Tune in for the next exciting episode of the RSGB Centenary Convention.