It's not real radio

I'm not known for being down wiv da kids - I was old even when I was young - so you can imagine the reaction of the world of Amateur Radio when I 'went digital'. I've had to imagine the reaction, so you can, too. It's a lonely life being a 'Ham' with low power and a crap antenna. No one comes back to your CQ calls, and no one hears you when you go back to their CQ calls. You're reduced to shouting 'FIVE NINE ONE FOUR, FIVE NINE ONE FOUR' (other Zones are available) at people in tents. After thirty years (well, twenty-nine and a bit) of hearteache (and heartburn) it was time for a change, a drastic change.

Remember my last blog post? You should. It was only ten weeks ago. Well, I asked (myself) a number of questions. Guess what? I got some answers.

1. D-STAR: Why does no one use it? Why can I only receive it in one corner of my living room (lounge, for you posh gits)? Why does it sound like Jacques Cousteau?

It appears that a couple of people use it. I heard a Dutch station only last night. The answer to the second and third questions is that I am listening on a handheld with a rubber duck antenna, and the repeater is in Airdrie and I am not.

2. DMR: Why do even fewer people use it than use D-STAR? Why does it sound like Jacques Cousteau saying 'Second Class Return to Nottingham, please'?

It transpires that I was wrong on both counts. Hundreds of people use it, but they're all in Edinburgh, Falkirk, Fife and Dundee, apart from the guy in Arizona and a Japanese station. I nearly choked on my cereal when I heard him. This begs the questions 'Why does no one in the West of Scotland use DMR?', 'Don't tell me I'm hearing the Edinburgh repeater?',  'Why can I only hear this repeater when I sit the DMR handheld on the window ledge on the other side of the wall from where the D-STAR handheld is sitting?' and 'Is it any wonder I've got a sore head?'

Incidentally, Jacques Cousteau is not on DMR, but Max Headroom is. When the signal's good, the audio is very good...

A word of warning: the Retevis RT82 is heap of junk. Nice idea (even if there are no 2m DMR repeaters in Scotland at the moment), but it is as deaf as a post.

3. Fusion/C4FM: Why do the people who used to use it not use it anymore? Where have all the repeaters gone? What really happens when you hold the DX button?

People do use it (check out CQ-UK). I tried listening to a local repeater (via a Reflector, using a SharkRF OpenSpot) and was spotted lurking. I've been in hiding ever since (not really). I'm still not sure what happens when you hold the DX button.

All of these VHF/UHF digital modes/protocols have a steep learning curve. I'm still stuck at the bottom.

4. What the hell is FT8, and why should I care? Why can't I decode it or JT65 or WSPR or the rest of them?

Dealing with the second point first, it helps to select Upper Sideband for the Data mode on your transceiver. Trust me.

FT8 is one of those weak signal digital modes invented by the Nobel Prize-winning Astrophysicist Prof. Joe Taylor K1JT (he's the T in FT8. I think the F is called Frank). I've not tried the other modes, mainly because I'm hooked (not really) on FT8. I'm not suffering from Emperor's New Clothes Syndrome. It's just an easy mode. The software,WSJT-X, does everything for you, other than hold the mouse over the station you want to call and press the button for you. That will probably be in the next mode! I've made about 40 contacts (well, my computer has) in the last two months, which is more than I make in an average year, shouting at contest stations aside. I still have the same problems getting folk to come back to me, barely getting beyond Western Europe, and the bands being dead a lot of the time, but I'm having fun, and that's a rare thing for this station.

5. What is the point of APRS? Why do folk display the little car when they're at home?

I have no idea, and I no longer care.

6. Why can't I remember the password for this blog?

I'm pleased to say that I am still logged in, so no stress this time round.

All this excitement is getting too much for me. I even used logging software during the recent CQWW SSB and CW contests and submitted my logs. What a pity I hardly worked anything!

I long for the good old days of ragchewing on 2m, or having a couple of CW contacts on 20m before breakfast. I miss the excitement of being a shortwave listener hearing rare DX for the first time and never realising that I was in for an eternity of disappointment. Those days are gone. I won't live to see the peak of the next solar cycle. There won't be a peak, apparently. I'm old, you see. Too old for these digital shenanigans. I had my first ever 80m QSO from my home QTH during the CQWW CW contest. That's read radio.